So I’ve been meaning to write a post forever about the stupid things that stupid well meaning people say. I wrote, I deleted, I rewrote. I wasn’t getting anything out of it besides getting more pissed off at more people. So, I didn’t post.
I can’t hold it in any longer.
Why do stupid people like to talk about dead babies but only if it’s your dead baby (they shudder to think if it was their baby). On second thought, who really wants to talk about dead babies anyways?
Well, apparently the stupid ladies that I got stuck at a table with today think it’s the cats pajamas. Here’s an overview of what transpired after they heard about the loss of Alexander.
They compared notes as to which channels they avoid watching because the programs might discuss dead/dying/injured babies and that would be horrible, the horror, how would they go on, life wouldn’t be worth living... Um, hello stupids ladies, I’m sitting right here and you’re discussing the ability to “switch” my life to something better like Glee or Dancing with the Stars. Don’t I wish. (Seriously, I love musicals and dancing. Music and dancing together, brilliant).
It got worse. It’s like they couldn’t talk about anything else besides MY dead baby. They couldn’t imagine what it would be like. To which I replied “Don’t imagine it, besides, why would you want to you stupid fuck?” (okay, I didn’t call her a “stupid fuck” but I wanted to).
One of the ladies even told me that she was an optimist (self professed of course). Right after she told me that “There must be a silver lining in Alexander’s death”. Seriously, is that optimism? I almost laughed, I mean that’s some stupid shit. Instead, I told her “No, not at all, not one bit”.
For some reason, I found myself unable to get up from the table and walk away. I wouldn’t consider myself a martyr but I sure was acting like one. I can only chalk it up to my desire for an educational opportunity (for them). Didn’t happen.
I see stupid people…
You should have called her a stupid fuck.
ReplyDeleteOkay, that's just my opinion.
Wow. I don't even want to imagine myself in that situation. I might have just sat there like a dear in headlights or I would have walked away muttering stupid fuck.
ReplyDeleteWhat the hell is wrong with these people?! This is exactly why I feel like I have to keep my losses to myself. I just don't want to hear the god awful insensitive banter that people spew out when they think that they are trying to be helpful and sympathetic. It always just comes across as ignorant and thoughtless.
ReplyDeleteI probably would have just sat there, too. I tend to not have the guts to lash out at deserving people. (Unless I am doing it under my breath, of course.)
I had my first stupid comment yesterday exactly six weeks after losing Holden. And from someone from work which is exactly why I dread going back on Tuesday. She said, "Must be god needed him too." I told her, no one needed him more than me. And god comments piss me off more than comfort. I know she meant well.... but Prophet Fucking Mohammed.... shut the fuck up! You know?
ReplyDeleteMy son was 2 weeks when he died. I can't tell you how many women have expressed to me, "I just can't IMAGINE what it's like!" To which I also tell them, DON'T - DON'T imagine, and how did this become about you imagining how YOU would feel? All those "it's God's will" people can kiss my ass.
ReplyDeleteI am SO GLAD you spoke up. In doing so you spoke for all of us who is going through this devastating event.
I second the 'stupid fuck' remark - you should have gone for it.
ReplyDeleteI don't have these instances in my life (I'm half a world from my old life, friends and family) with stupid people saying stupid things to me - but I think if someone was to try that with me now (almost a year out), I'd gladly jump down their throats; any airtime to talk about Elizabeth is better than none for me...
Not so long ago I would have been stunned into silence though.
Thank you for the laugh with the 'I see stupid people...'