Random Thoughts with Thanks

I'm not a really touchie-feelie kind of gal. I don't have a lot of people that I would call a close friend. Of the few I do have (thankfully, my husband is one of them), I can share my deepest darkest secrets. Thoughts that I won't even share with myself (if that makes sense).

I get such relief... release from writing out my feelings AND sharing them. Once I speak or write them to another person, they become real.  I was a bit worried about sharing my "is their humor in my loss" post but I thought, what's the worst that can happen? A troll comes along and tells me I'm a bad mother. That I didn't love my child. I know it's not true so I went and published it. I'm glad I did (thanks for reading and commenting).

Today I took the kids to playgroup. I met a support worker who came to talk to us about Aspergers/Autism. Sidenote: This was really interesting because the reason why I did some research last week, hence my latest Big Daddy reference was because there was a boy there that was different, unfortunately his mother wasn't there today. Anyways, I got talking to the support worker about adoption (her sister gave up a child), my brother (who is special in his own right) and loss, Alexander.

She asked me if I thought of him often, how I was handling things and if I had any support.

Support I told her was abundant. She was very surprised. She wanted to know how I found all of you. I couldn't really put my finger on how I found the first of "you" but I told her that once you find one, you find so many more...

Back to my last post. I knew that I could post it because I knew that none of you would judge me. You might not understand or share my feelings but you understand that we all think different things; sometimes "horrible" things and it doesn't make us bad people and/or mothers, it makes us human.

Thank you.